U.S. ambassador officially declares Iraq 51st State of America: Iraqis lovin' it

© Sott.net

Baghdad, Iraq - The top U.S. envoy to Iraq said Sunday that the appointment of a CIA-asset dictator-in-waiting was fantastic news for America's implementation of pretend democracy in Oil-rich lands and was very excited about adding an extra star to the Police-State-Spangled banner.

Former Prime Minister Ayad Allawi's secular Iraqiya bloc won two seats more than Prime Minister Nuri al-Maliki's State of Law coalition, according to election officials.

U.S. ambassador to Iraq Christopher Hill, reporting from the new $600 million US embassy in downtown Baghdad (just opposite Burger King), said the results suggest, "We can safely say that Iraq is now the 51st State of America."

"Voting has been a great distraction for the people from the total environmental ruin of this once great nation," Hill told SOTT.net in an exclusive interview. "We successfully changed the name of the war from 'Operation Iraqi Freedom' to the more accurate 'Operation New Colony', and to mark this occasion we are pleased to formally incorporate Iraq into the American Empire."

To commemorate the event, McDonalds fast food chain (which recently opened it's 17 billionth store) has designed a new highly addictive 'Iraqi freedom burger'.

"We feel the new Iraqi Freedom Burger TM with its mix of old Chinese newspapers, Denatonium and genetically modified high-fructose corn syrup will accurately reflect Iraq's bitter-sickly sweet recent history. Bitter from the point of view of the 1 million+ dead Iraqis who won't be able to enjoy the new burger, but sickly sweet from the point of view of the increase in McDonald's profits that those deaths have facilitated", the McDonald's spokes-clown said.

Allawi also acknowledged Sunday the significance of the results, saying that Iraqis voted because they love American freedom so much.

"Look, the American military came and spread American freedom all over Iraq. The Iraqi people can feel it and see it every day of their lives, they see it mostly clearly in the freedom for American oil companies to receive plundering rights to Iraq's oil reserves. That's proof that American freedom has been successfully established in Iraq, and that's a beautiful thing, and the Iraqi people know it", the new Iraqi PM, who had not lived in Iraq for 20 years prior to the US invasion, told SOTT.net.

U.S. ambassador to Iraq Christopher Hill pointed to the challenges Iraqi officials have had to overcome leading up to the elections -- including pretending democracy was the most important issue in the world, forgetting about the fact that Iraq was an occupied territory of the United States and that many lives had been lost to make it so.

"It wasn't easy convincing people that voting was worthwhile ," the reporter said. "When you look at some of the problems [that] have come up in Iraq in the last seven years ... over 1 million dead, 4 million orphans, The contamination from depleted uranium weapons, birth defects, bombed pipelines, poor sanitation, obtaining clean drinking water, few jobs, little safety or security ... those are tough challenges... but democracy eh, you can't beat it can you? The illusion of choice just makes everyone so happy!"

Allawi appeared to be well-prepared for his new role Sunday, saying he wants a "nice office with a view" and one "with those chairs that go up and down."

"I received a nice leather chair from a few Blackwater defense contractors a few days ago," Allawi said. "But when I joked with them that they had to change their name to Xe after their death squads were outed in US Senate hearings, whereas I had managed to keep mine AND get a promotion, they came and took their chair back."